Drunk Uncle Tree

First of all, if you don’t get the reference, check out this video: http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/weekend-update-drunk-uncle/1371747/.  Hilarity (warning: VERY offensive.  So only watch if you’re feeling light-hearted).

For the second year in a row, we got our Paul Bunyan on and cut down our own tree.  For the second year in a row, we chose a flippin freezing day to go out and do it.  We have GOT to plan ahead a little better next year.  Cold cold cold =  fast decisions.  Fast decisions = Drunk Uncle tree.  You’ll see what I mean.

We spotted this guy and went with it.  Looked straight, overall full, and a nice height.  Took a few pics and then Seth got to work while J and I sprinted for the car and heated seats.




We waited until J went to bed to put it up (for obvious reasons) and from where I stood, it looked pretty OK!


And then I walked to the side.


Seriously!  How hilarious is that? At first we were annoyed and words were short trying to decide how to fix it, if it could be fixed, and would you just please go get the broom? The thing is- the tree grew crooooked.  I mean like the tree had scoliosis. I don’t know how we missed it while it was still in the ground, but we did.  However, after a few minutes, I lovingly called the tree Drunk Uncle and we decided it wasn’t too bad.  Maybe it would bring some comedy to what can sometimes get hectic around the holidays.

Buuuuuuuut we went ahead and tried to fix him.  Seth dragged him outside and chopped off a little over a foot (where most of the crookedness was).


I also snapped a quick pic of our front porch while I was out there. The little trees are upside-down tomato cages wrapped in lights. I think they’re swell.


Low and behold, it was straight again!  However, the guy is super short for the tall ceilings in the room so he still makes us giggle.  Here he is in all his decorated glory:


In order to make this tree toddler safe, we had to leave all of our regular decorations in the decorations box. I ended up grabbing new shatter-proof decorations half-off at Hobby Lobby.  See the huge balls? Those are the new guys. I love how big they are, especially against how tiny our little fella is.  The brown flat round discs are craft starters from Hobby Lobby that I thought were cute just as it. The fabric ones (that are slightly ugly) (sorry mom) are decorations that my mom made when she and my dad were first married and they were super poor so they made everything.  I love them, ugliness and all.  Plus they’re all super toddler friendly.  We still are watching like hawks and not letting J really play with anything over there, but at least if he does grab something we know it’s not going to harm him.

In the end, we have a nice tree.  But I miss Drunk Uncle. So put that on your iPad and smoke it.


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